Because It's Friday...

This has been a rough week, and I'm sure many of you can empathize.

So, to cheer everyone, I've included one of the funniest things I have ever encountered. But first, the prelude!

While in Paris, I was browsing through a bunch of sightseeing pamphlets at the hotel we were staying in. Though most were your run-of-the mill bus and walking tours, I came across THIS
and nearly pissed myself laughing.

Yes. What you see there is, in fact, a City Segway Tour. Now, not only is the thought of putzing around Paris on a dorky-looking segway humorous, but they actually include pictures (see below) of tourists looking so....painfully...tourist-y that I couldn't help but grab the pamphlet and show everyone I saw! I mean, not only is there a group of them milling about the Louvre, but they're all middle-aged, carrying 2-tonnes worth of video recording equipment, wearing pleated khakis and (worst of all) safety helmets. Seriously. All they would need to complete the picture would be some sandals and socks pulled up to the Knee.

And of course, the best way to experience the full hilarity of such a ridiculous exercise? Why, to actually GO ON a Segway tour of Paris, of course! I begged my travelling companions to sign up, extolling the virtues of such an adventure, such as:

- looking like complete assholes on segways
- completely pissing off every Parisian within eyeshot
- quite possibly getting run over in the streets by crazed Parisian motorists
- taking the piss out of any serious travellers on Segways that we saw

They shot down my idea, which I was very disappointed about. My brother brought up the fact that, in our week in Paris, we did not see ONE SINGLE PERSON on a Segway and took that as an indication of how "cool" it was. But that's the entire POINT of such an exercise: being as supremely un-cool as possible so that you might regale your friends with tales of your utter stupidity at a later date!

I discussed this event with the girls while performing our Thursday Night Ritual (ie: drinks and Grey's Anatomy) and Miss Betts and Blythe were in perfect agreement that, should we ever go to Paris together, we must indulge in this most heinously tacky activity. Why climb Everest? Because it's there. Why take a Segway tour of the City of Lights? Because you can't NOT!




I hope you got a giggle like I did,

k

Art (Parental Advisory Warning: Nudity)

Dragon Nude
Lounging Nude
Seated Nude

Et....voila!

Aren't they gorgeous?

(special Thanks to M.Mahe, who is the talented hand behind these)
k

They Blinded me with Science (Science!)

What, pray tell, is dear Miss Fitz doing quoting from bad 80s new wave? Why...explaining my weekend of fun, sillies!

This weekend was rather spectacular. Not that I did anything terribly exciting, it was just...well...really really fun!

Friday was Miss Tacky Berry's med-school bar star night, so Bettsy and I accompanied her to Stolli's. At the ripe old age of 24, having been legally able to frequent such establishments for a pithy 6 years, I must humbly admit that my heart is no longer into the club scene. Seriously. Bettsy and I kept looking at each other as rude drunks barrelled past us and spilled cheap drinks on my pretty new shoes. (my new ruby slippers! they're fab!)

Saturday was waaaay more fun. Bettsy, Mr. Mahe and I went to the Space and Science Centre (!!!) for a night of fun any 6-year-old would envy! I hadn't been there in ages, and man, it was even more fun than I remembered! The exhibits are really cool now, because they're all interactive, so you can do things like try to pump blood like a heart or solve a crime using DNA analysis and all that cool stuff. It was rad! I think my personal favorite was the "gross" section, where you could play "Mary had a Little Lamb" with fart noises. Yes, it was a learning smorgasbord!

hehe.

Yesterday I experienced something very unique that, while intimidating at first, was something I really enjoyed in the end and am very glad for the experience. In short, I posed for my good buddy Mahe's ink-drawings of the human figure. And damn, do they look good. I will be uploading the pictures of the drawings as soon as he sends them to me. They're gorgeous.

Oh yes....and did i mention, they are nudes?

*giggle*

K

Dear God, why?!

So I was googling myself the other day (i know, my grandma said it would make me go blind, but hey, I can't help it! A girl's got needs!hahaha!)

Ahem. Sorry. I need a moment to just sit and reflect on my own hilariousness. (because none of you will do it, nonono)

Ok, anyways, so I found me (the real me, not some other Miss Fitz who sells cheese on eBay or something) and a few articles I had written a couple of years back for my University newspaper. One of them (my last, in fact) is on Che Guevara. Yes, THAT Che Guevara. I know that some people love him, and I won't discuss at the moment why that is 20 shades of uncool in this particular forum. I will, however, share with you my recent experience in France, where, amongst the goofy tourist items like mini-Eiffel towers and felt berets, there were (inexplicably) t-shirts with french lettering on them that had his (handsome) mug on them.

What the fuck is that?

What the hell does Che Guevara have to do with France?

This little bit of idiocy, while annoying,was a big validation in that, 3 years on, my writing is still as relevant as it was when it was published.

Warning: If you love Che Guevara, own the T-shirt or in any way adulate this freedom fighter...don't click on this link. Seriously.

Viva la Revolution!

Have a pleasant weekend, everyone!

K

A Few Photos of Paris

This is by no means the best or all of what we have, but it's a little taste for your viewing "plaisir".

A bientot!

K

Ah, Europe, How I love Thee, Let me Count the Ways....

Hello boys and girls!

Sorry about my lack of blogging, but I have just returned from an incredibly awesome trip to Europe and, quite frankly, couldn't be bothered with keeping up on my blogger account. (Especially considering that it costs about 1 euro every 30 minutes for internet time)

The trip was awesome and I will post links for pictures as soon as we have them downloaded of my brother's camera.

London I enjoyed much more than last trip, though I would recommend everyone stay the hell away from Mme Tussaud's. Not that the wax figures aren't cool. Only that they're not worth the exhorbitant cost of entry.

Paris was fantastic, everything there was larger than life and built to impress. The price of food was ridiculous, so we got very good at eating baguettes and cheese in the park rather than attempting to dine in a brasserie.

Munich was a drunken good time, and that about sums up my trip. I'll give more details when I have the chance, though I'm sure most of you are caught up with the emails I sent out during my trip.

I met some wonderful American and Australian friends, as well as a few adorable Aussie boys (though we won't be divulging any details on THAT anytime soon).

I'll keep you posted as to my picture uplinks, but from the few I've seen, I think they'll be rather impressive.

Cheers,

K

Psychedelic Fun Times

Had a very good night last night, even if it meant getting to bed by 2am. *yawn* Sleepiness at work is worth it, though!

Met up with Marc & Yolande for beers (having walked through the pouring rain to get to the bar, but the lightning was fantastic!) then Yo and I headed to the Starlite room to see the Brian Jonestown Massacre.

I really like these guys, and the chances of them coming to Edmonton often are slim to none, so I jumped at the chance to go, even if it means an even tighter wallet over the next few days. Ah well.

They had an awesome set. Considering that I don't know most of their material, it amazed me that I really got into every song they played. Not one boring moment or so-so song. They were all fantastic! Sadly, I never got to see an encore, as Yolande and I left the concert before the end of the set. Not sure how long they continued, but we left after about 2 hours and they showed no signs of stopping. I have never seen a band play continuously for so long. They must have been exhausted, but they sounded terrific!

I fell in love with this band after watching the documentary "Dig!" a few years back. If you haven't seen it yet, rent it. Even though the POV is rather skewed, you get to see these guys perform, and trust me, it's worth it!

I had a sneaking feeling at the concert that I was going to have a run-in with the ex, as we both discovered the band together. True to form, he was there with his new ladyfriend. Didn't see her, but saw him behind me and smiled. We chatted halfway through the concert, gave some hugs, very cool and mature. Yo brought me a drink after that, and I think I needed it! Helped me focus on the concert rather than pick at that nasty emotional scab again.

But I digress....in summation: 1) bjm good; 2) mmj not as good; 3)tuesday night concert at the starlite, priceless.

Treadmills + Rock = wow

For those of you who no longer watch MuchMusic/MTV or who haven't been to www.youtube.com lately, here's a great video from OK Go! Called "Here it goes again." It's 3:03 minutes of pure brilliance! (well, brilliance and good coordination!)

I LOOOOOOVE this video! *claps hands giddily* there's no way you can watch this and not smile!

Here it goes again

My Very Excellent Mother Just Sent Us Nine....

What?! sent us nine What?!?! See! Now my mnemonic device is all screwed up! Way to go, Scientists!!!

"Mad" Scientists determine that Pluto not good enough to be a planet. Poor Pluto. Let us all Mourn for Pluto.

Wondering, "where did the love go?"

K

MMMMmmmmm.....Candy Corn.......*gargle*....

I love candy corn. If we're talking candy--and I mean all that sugary junk that excludes anything with chocolate in it, which in itself is a COMPLETELY different ballgame--I believe that candy corn just may be my all time favorite sweet. I know a lot of people think it's gross. Maybe it's the nearly gag-inducing sweetness, or the fact that once you eat one, suddenly an entire 1-lb. bag is gone and you're sitting there nearly comatose wondering when that ol' insulin-making machine in your tummy's going to conk out. Perhaps this is knowledge best left in the realm of mystery, like the secret of the caramilk bar, or something. Either way, these things are tasty.

Why am I talking about Candy Corn? Well, because I saw some at Save-On-Foods while I was grocery shopping, that's why. Now it would seem odd to some people that don't eat candy corn why I would make a big deal out of this. But for cc afficionados like me, you know that the corn's been on the downswing of late, and is becoming as elusive as those little orange-wrapped hallowe'en toffees that no one eats except me, seemingly. But, lo, there they were, thousands of bright, tiny bits of deliciousness, just sitting in a bulk bin waiting for someone to come eat them. And i felt that I was up to the task.

Ok. So it's a little sad that it's the middle of August and they're already selling Hallowe'en Candy. But really, when it tastes this damned good, who gives a shit?

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go munch myself into a sugar-stupor.

K

Decisions = ARGH!!!!

While taking all this "time off" (ie: lazing about for a few years) between school and "the rest of my life" (ie: getting on with it, already)I figured that, somehow, inspiration would come to me and I would magically have a decision on what I would like to do with my life all sorted out and a path clearly demarcated for me on which I could go along on my merry way.

Naive? perhaps. Hopeful? Definitely. Happening? Not a chance!

So I've decided to take my life into my own hands (what a novel concept) and have been dipping my toes online into programs of interest and what I need do over the next year or two to make these dreams happen. Of course, with all my life's choices (I blame it on being a Gemini, as I am naturally of two minds about everything) I can't make a damned decision to save my life.

"But you have lots of time to decide," you'll say.

Aha. But that's what I tell myself, and lo and behold, 2008 will be here and I will still be an office bitch down at the ol' Legislature. Luckily, I've got a few ideas kicking around. Perhaps you all can help me decide, since having the opinions of others who know me well may aid in my ultimate and glorious return to the world of academia.

There are 3 main options for me:
1) Publishing at Simon Fraser (which would require mucho prerequisite studies, as I am clueless at the business side, though I could learn) Publishing Page
2) Journalism at either Ryerson or Carleton (I'm leaning towards Carleton, but only b/c I love Ottawa) Communications and Journalism
3) Masters of English

Help me out. Cast your vote!

K

What a difference a year makes....

This time last August I was wrapping up my solo UK tour and had left my adopted home of Dublin for good. I was thinking about this the other day as I paid the final amount on my September Europe trip with Jaboy, Nobis and Megs. As I was waiting at the counter for the girl to verify my flights, there was another girl next to me who was signing up for a SWAP (Student Work Abroad Program) trip. I couldn't help but listen in to see where she was going. She told the woman behind the counter that she had been contemplating the UK, but had decided on Ireland.

Suddenly my heart leapt up and I got a little giddy at the thought. I haven't thought about Ireland in ages. Partly to try and forget the lousy and stressful times, and partly because I've become re-settled into Canadian life again. However, seeing this girl totally brought everything back. The excitement and anticipation, the wonder of a new place, getting your Visa all set up and telling yourself that, "this is it! I'm going!" It's a thrill I had totally forgotten about.

I interrupted the girl's conversation and told her that I had lived there last year. I was really enthusiastic about it and we chatted for 10 minutes about places to go, things to see, advice, etc. I gave her my email addy and told her to write to me if she had any questions or wanted a place to stay or people to meet up with in Dublin. Strangely, this gave me pangs. I can't believe I actually MISSED the place until I met someone who was at the beginning stage of a trip. Ahh....how things change...

K

Happy Birthday, Bernie!

"Some look at things that are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?" (George Bernard Shaw)

For those of you unawares (and I'm assuming that's everyone)today is the 150th anniversary of playwright, wit, utopian socialist, nobel-laureate and all-around genius George Bernard Shaw's birth.

Being an English BA-holder and one-time Dubliner, I felt it was right to pay a brief tribute to the Irishman who brought the snide remark and bon mot to a new level.

I love witty writers and GBS is one of my favourites. If I could (will?--here's hoping!)leave a written legacy, I would want my words to be as insightful, sparklingly intelligent and bitingly ironic as his.

Slainte, GB.

K
*******************************************************************

George Bernard Shaw once found himself at a dinner party, seated beside an attractive woman. "Madam," he asked, "would you go to bed with me for a thousand pounds?" The woman blushed and rather indignantly shook her head.
"For ten thousand pounds?" he asked. "No. I would not." "Then how about fifty thousand pounds?" he contined.

The colossal sum gave the woman pause, and after further reflection, she coyly replied: "Perhaps." "And if I were to offer you five pounds?" Shaw asked.

"Mr. Shaw!" the woman exclaimed. "What do you take me for!?"

"We have already established what you are," Shaw calmly replied. "Now we are merely haggling over the price."

Tell me about the rabbits, George...

Having recently moved to a fabulous part of town a few weeks ago, I have been venturing into the renowned River Valley on a daily basis, usually on my walks to and from work. It never ceases to amaze me how such lush nature can be smack dab in the middle of a city and yet during rush hour the only thing I can hear on my way to work is squirrels and the *ding, ding!* of bikers as they pass. It's pretty sweet. I have seen quite a few interesting creatures I don't normally get the opportunity to see living in an apartment block. My very first walk I saw what I believe to be some sort of woodpecker, though being the expert ornithologist I am, it could very well have been a lark or something. Definitely not an owl or a magpie (wicked, evil magpies... sorry, bad experiences with magpies, specifically them ganging up on my dog back in the day...nevermind...)

The most common friend I see every morning, however, is the jackrabbit. Now, Edmonton is renowned for its near-pestilence numbers of rabbits of all shapes and sizes. You can barely turn the corner (even in the most developed areas) without stumbling upon a bushy white tail. I loves the bunnies. They're so cute, though somewhat skittish. Even the Leg, where I work, is littered (no pun intended) with them. Except these little buggers are damn near fearless. There's one I've dubbed "Bob" who is always munching grass outside of the front door of my building. Usually I walk past and he trots away under a bush, but the other day I didn't see him and nearly tripped over him on my way in the building! Tripped! On a bunny! And he just kept on munching grass and looking adorable. Damn bunnies. I love them. Now if I could only tame one and fit it into my apartment somehow....

Debauched

Friday night I packed up my bathing suit, hot dogs and a 26 of rum and headed up to Mahe's Hut for a weekend of sea-dooing and shenanigans. And what shenanigans. Let me explain:

So we arrive at thunder lake around 9, where we begin the weekend by[CENSORED!]until about midnight, then decide to go for a [CENSORED!]which was my first time ever and was very fun and freeing. There were a lot of photos taken. Saturday was a beach bash, barbecue, then an hour-long kegstand competition, follwed by the most ridiculous and subversive group [CENSORED!]after which I was very tired. Nearly [CENSORED!]but, thankfully, was sober enough not to.

Returned home yesterday absolutely exhausted. Hope there are no photos of me lurking on the internet at this point. And if they are, I hope I get some of the proceeds from the "drunk girls acting retarded" videos they're sure to turn up on. *shaking head* what a weekend. ...

I can't wait to do it again in August!

hahaha.

Cheers,
K, not quite as innocent as I was a week ago.

Pvt. Fitz Reporting for Duty....

Hey all! Sorry about the time span between posts, but I've been rather busy. I can't believe the week I've had: it's felt like 10! Had a nice long 4-day weekend to move. Packed on Friday, moved in on Saturday and was pleasantly surprised to have a BUNCH of friends come over and help. Seriously, you guys are awesome. I am pleased. Now here's a cookie.

(hehe)

My baseless fear that I would be relegated to loneliness living on my own has not come to fruition. If anything, I'm busier right now than I've ever been....and it's gonna get even busier now, because I have been recruited into the Army.

The Sonic Intern Army, that is.

Yep, I had my mum (yes, mum, I don't have a car, okay?!) drive me to the Used Hubcap District, where I sat with the cool kitties and learned all about volunteering for this wicked-ass radio station and getting free passes to events such as, oh, concerts, movies, the usual. Hee hee hee!

I'm gonna start off slow, see how much time I can commit to it, but I'm pretty sure I'll be doing it often: it looks like such fun!

Anyways, that's about it for the update. Lots of other stuff happened this weekend, but I'm tired from the move/coming down with the sniffles and I need my rest so that I can go out and get right wasted this weekend at my dear friend Marc's cabin. Booya!

K

HOME FREE!!!

Squeal-worthy news annoucement in 5....4.....3....2....

oh, what the heck!

I've got a place to live!!!

Yes, that's right. I finally have an apartment all to my lovely self. Many of you will recall how I was going to move in with Ms. Betts' roomie, Y.C., when Bettsy vacated the premises. Unfortunately, that didn't happen and both of them are unsure where they're moving,what's happening with the lease, etc. So, on the off chance that I'd find something half decent, I went to look at some apartments on Monday. The first one was decent and right downtown, 10 minutes from work. It was a little pricy at $600, especially when the bedroom could barely fit a double bed. Ouch.

Second place I looked at was with mum (yes, I took my mum, shut up)and was right near the river valley and in close proximity to Whyte and downtown. And it was awesome! There's no balcony (bsmt suite) and I can't get a kitty (yet....hehehe) but it's HUGE and clean and nearly $100 cheaper than the first place I looked at. I signed an application form, just for the heck of it, and I was accepted yesterday. So tomorrow I go to sign my lease and drop off my first cheques, and I'm in as of July 1st!!!! yah!

Now, as July 1st is a holiday, I don't think I'll be doing much moving that day. Maybe some cleaning, and perhaps have everyone over to my empty flat to see my space and drink some beer. We could even watch the fireworks from Saskatchewan drive. Sweet, no? Of course, if anyone's free on Sunday (July 2) I'd very much appreciate some help moving furniture (wink, nudge).

Okay, ttfn.

K

Sometimes you run the wheel, other times, the wheel runs you...

At the best of times, my attention span/short term memory is somewhere between goldfish and Einstein-like hamster. Today I fell off the wheel while chatting on MSN (work? what work?....oh, THAAT work. Meh. I'll do it later) with the Lovely Bettsy, whose convocation from Uni is today (congrats!) I had offered my congratulations and we had barely continued the conversation, when she had to leave. When I asked for where, I received as blank a stare as one can receive when chatting online and immediately offered up my apologies for being so dense. I am so retarded sometimes. No, wait, that's an insult to retarded people. *sigh*

Just thought I'd share that with you, so that you might laugh at me as much as Bettsorama did.

Cheers,
K

Squirrel Ninja Defense

So, for those of you who know me well (or have been around me more than 5 minutes) you'll know that I have a rather great(some would say "unhealthy") fondness for squirrels. Perhaps the only thing i'm fonder of, in fact, would be monkeys. (hehe, just saying the word makes me giggle.)

So you can imagine my surprise and glee when i discovered this kokanee advertisement sitting on my table at a pub a few weeks ago! So, of course, I swiped it. (Respect for bar property has never been something I've been terribly fond of).

Add to the squirrels the fact that it involves Ninjas--the pinnacle of radness--and you've got yourself a near-perfect advert. Enjoy.

i Must be Craze-ay!

Okay, everyone who HASN'T heard of Gnarls Barkley, raise their hand.....anyone?

That's right. They are the shiznit, and I hereby declare "crazy" my mojo music for the summer. Their album makes me think of Moby's 'play', except with Marvin Gaye overtones instead of 30's gospel music. Either way, it equals awesomeness!!!

That, and anyone who dresses up in bowler hats and white suspenders and drinks moloko is alright with me. Yarbles!*



*(ps - if you don't understand what i'm talking about, I recommend you go out and borrow Anthony Burgess' "A Clockwork Orange" from your local library immediately)