Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Happy Birthday, Bernie!

"Some look at things that are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?" (George Bernard Shaw)

For those of you unawares (and I'm assuming that's everyone)today is the 150th anniversary of playwright, wit, utopian socialist, nobel-laureate and all-around genius George Bernard Shaw's birth.

Being an English BA-holder and one-time Dubliner, I felt it was right to pay a brief tribute to the Irishman who brought the snide remark and bon mot to a new level.

I love witty writers and GBS is one of my favourites. If I could (will?--here's hoping!)leave a written legacy, I would want my words to be as insightful, sparklingly intelligent and bitingly ironic as his.

Slainte, GB.


George Bernard Shaw once found himself at a dinner party, seated beside an attractive woman. "Madam," he asked, "would you go to bed with me for a thousand pounds?" The woman blushed and rather indignantly shook her head.
"For ten thousand pounds?" he asked. "No. I would not." "Then how about fifty thousand pounds?" he contined.

The colossal sum gave the woman pause, and after further reflection, she coyly replied: "Perhaps." "And if I were to offer you five pounds?" Shaw asked.

"Mr. Shaw!" the woman exclaimed. "What do you take me for!?"

"We have already established what you are," Shaw calmly replied. "Now we are merely haggling over the price."

Friday, July 21, 2006

Tell me about the rabbits, George...

Having recently moved to a fabulous part of town a few weeks ago, I have been venturing into the renowned River Valley on a daily basis, usually on my walks to and from work. It never ceases to amaze me how such lush nature can be smack dab in the middle of a city and yet during rush hour the only thing I can hear on my way to work is squirrels and the *ding, ding!* of bikers as they pass. It's pretty sweet. I have seen quite a few interesting creatures I don't normally get the opportunity to see living in an apartment block. My very first walk I saw what I believe to be some sort of woodpecker, though being the expert ornithologist I am, it could very well have been a lark or something. Definitely not an owl or a magpie (wicked, evil magpies... sorry, bad experiences with magpies, specifically them ganging up on my dog back in the day...nevermind...)

The most common friend I see every morning, however, is the jackrabbit. Now, Edmonton is renowned for its near-pestilence numbers of rabbits of all shapes and sizes. You can barely turn the corner (even in the most developed areas) without stumbling upon a bushy white tail. I loves the bunnies. They're so cute, though somewhat skittish. Even the Leg, where I work, is littered (no pun intended) with them. Except these little buggers are damn near fearless. There's one I've dubbed "Bob" who is always munching grass outside of the front door of my building. Usually I walk past and he trots away under a bush, but the other day I didn't see him and nearly tripped over him on my way in the building! Tripped! On a bunny! And he just kept on munching grass and looking adorable. Damn bunnies. I love them. Now if I could only tame one and fit it into my apartment somehow....

Monday, July 10, 2006


Friday night I packed up my bathing suit, hot dogs and a 26 of rum and headed up to Mahe's Hut for a weekend of sea-dooing and shenanigans. And what shenanigans. Let me explain:

So we arrive at thunder lake around 9, where we begin the weekend by[CENSORED!]until about midnight, then decide to go for a [CENSORED!]which was my first time ever and was very fun and freeing. There were a lot of photos taken. Saturday was a beach bash, barbecue, then an hour-long kegstand competition, follwed by the most ridiculous and subversive group [CENSORED!]after which I was very tired. Nearly [CENSORED!]but, thankfully, was sober enough not to.

Returned home yesterday absolutely exhausted. Hope there are no photos of me lurking on the internet at this point. And if they are, I hope I get some of the proceeds from the "drunk girls acting retarded" videos they're sure to turn up on. *shaking head* what a weekend. ...

I can't wait to do it again in August!


K, not quite as innocent as I was a week ago.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Pvt. Fitz Reporting for Duty....

Hey all! Sorry about the time span between posts, but I've been rather busy. I can't believe the week I've had: it's felt like 10! Had a nice long 4-day weekend to move. Packed on Friday, moved in on Saturday and was pleasantly surprised to have a BUNCH of friends come over and help. Seriously, you guys are awesome. I am pleased. Now here's a cookie.


My baseless fear that I would be relegated to loneliness living on my own has not come to fruition. If anything, I'm busier right now than I've ever been....and it's gonna get even busier now, because I have been recruited into the Army.

The Sonic Intern Army, that is.

Yep, I had my mum (yes, mum, I don't have a car, okay?!) drive me to the Used Hubcap District, where I sat with the cool kitties and learned all about volunteering for this wicked-ass radio station and getting free passes to events such as, oh, concerts, movies, the usual. Hee hee hee!

I'm gonna start off slow, see how much time I can commit to it, but I'm pretty sure I'll be doing it often: it looks like such fun!

Anyways, that's about it for the update. Lots of other stuff happened this weekend, but I'm tired from the move/coming down with the sniffles and I need my rest so that I can go out and get right wasted this weekend at my dear friend Marc's cabin. Booya!