Wednesday, December 28, 2005

New Year: Almost Here!

Booya, darlings!

I hope everyone had a lovely turkey time on Sunday, I know I did! (my pants are too tight to prove it...yow!)

T'was a smaller Christmas this year, not as many gifties under the tree, but still some good stuff. Mostly clothing, and some guitar lessons so I can really rawk out (i shudder at that grammar, but i am doing it to emphasize my new-found "cool")on my new guitar (for which I also received an electronic tuner, sweet!)

This year was my first Christmas day dinner away from my mum (*sniffle* such a mama's girl!) but dinner with M.J. and his family was really enjoyable--and filling!

Didn't do much on Boxing Day (no shopping, didn't need the headache)except watch an entire season of "Dead Like Me" on DVD. That show kicks ass. I definitely recommend it to anyone who hasn't heard of and/or seen it.

Yesterday went shopping at the Great Mall of Horrors (wem) which was still crazy-go-nuts insanity, but not as bad as boxing day would have been. Went to Chapters and got myself a new book (yah! new books! i love new books!) with my gift certificates. And this book is really awesome. It's called "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell. It's a non-fiction piece about the phenomenon of people making snap decisions and how those decisions are often more correct than ones we spend time researching and deliberating over. It's radness. Makes you go "hmmm" a lot. I like books that do that. :o)

Well, that's it for me. Anybody got some good ideas for the 31st? I'm free!

Friday, December 23, 2005

Happy Holidays!!!!!

It's here! It's here!

Okay, well, it's not here yet, but as of today (Friday) I am off for four days to celebrate the birth of Santa Claus. Nonono, wait, that's not right, it Rudolph? Ah well...I forget, but it's not important...anyways...

Things are really going to be fun this Christmas. Granny and Auntie arrived last night and I had myself a grand ol' gift exchange/watching Muppet Xmas Movie time with my favorite pair of smug marrieds. :o)

Have now officially begun not to fit into pants due to excess cookies, but do not care. Contemplating replacing jolly old elf next year if this keeps up...hmm...

Only sad part about last night: I missed out on half of Ed the Sock's Fromage 2005. I LOVE fromage! Tried to tape it, only to find out I taped reruns of "Frasier" and "Friends". Blecch.

Anyways, Merry Christmas to all, and to all a great weekend!



PS - While watching music videos last night, I saw the new Korn video, called "Twisted Transistor," or something like that. Not a huge Korn fan, but I encourage you all to see it. They got famous rappers to portray the band in the video, so you've got L'il Jon as Jonathan D. and Snoop Dogg as Munky. No shit! It's awesome! okay, well, HO HO HO!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005


Girls night was rad, a true bacchanalian treat (always wanted to use that word in a sentence). Stayed up until 3am, though, chattin' and laughin' with the ladies. Was contemplating calling in with food poisoning to work, but couldn't hack it. stupid conscience. gets me every time. So now i'm here, but i'm exhausted. Need a nappy on the nap nap. *Yawn*


Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Tonight's the Night!

My fabulous girls and I are doing our annual Christmas Girls' Night at the Fantasyland hotel, where we will eat, drink, be sexy and merry! Woot! So excited! This year we even have a theme: James Bond, 00-sexy! (hehe)

I am Octopussy. Meow!

So I will be meeting all you lovely ladies for a "stirring" (punny, no?) good time. I'll bring the bubbly and meet you in the hot tub. huzzah!

Monday, December 19, 2005

2006: Looking Up

Well, with Christmas nearly here and New Year's hot on its heels, I figured I'd find out what exactly 2006 has in store for me. Seems that I'm going to be learning a lot and gaining new experiences. Wow. That's so, like, deep and stuff. Hehehehe...

Here's what de lovely Geminis (like me!)can expect next year:

"While it's always been just about impossible to keep you from expressing yourself, you've probably been a bit quieter over the past year. (really?) Perhaps you've even felt downright hesitant to say what you're thinking -- especially if you're not absolutely sure of the potential repercussions of your words. That's not a bad thing; it's the wisdom of experience and age, and the universe will be tossing a bit more of it your way throughout 2006. If your friends continue to scratch their heads and ask what's wrong, reassure them with the very thing they've come to expect from you: interesting, chatty evenings over at your place, complete with the whole gang. You may be thinking more seriously lately, but that doesn't mean you can't indulge in some fun!

Speaking of serious thoughts, though, the period from early January through the beginning of March may demand some very careful consideration of joint finances -- that goes for both investments and any shared resources. Think of the future, and not lightly. This also wouldn't be a bad time to put a few pennies aside for a rainy day. (hmm, money would be nice...)

You may need to make some serious decisions in the romance department over the course of 2006. Changes to a friendship in April may get that show on the road -- but if you're thinking of turning this relationship romantic, be very sure that you can go back to being friends if it doesn't work out. Oh, and don't ignore a family member's efforts to introduce you to someone they think would be 'just perfect' for you -- no matter what happened last time. They could actually be right."

Hmm. Money, Jobs, to me.

How's your 2006 going to shape up? find out at



Friday, December 16, 2005

What the hell is wrong with people?!!

Firstly, a little explanatory preamble is in order:

My crummy temp job (which is –thankfully!—ending on December 30) involves working for the City Bylaw office taking citizen complaints. Specifically, I take complaints on parking tickets. Now, while this is a fun and exciting (read: mind-numbing) position, it does have its moments of wry irony and hilarity. I must admit that I get the odd giggle from some of the excuses sent my way.

I’m sure everyone’s seen that TV commercial with the guy going to pay the parking ticket, and he tells the men at the counter, “you know, I just didn’t see the sign.” And the two guys at the counter look dumbstruck and reply:


“That’s awful!”

“You know, you hear about these things, but when you see that it happens to real people…”

It’s hilarious in its stupidity, because, as we all know, it’s re-godamned-diculous to expect someone to cancel a parking ticket because you “didn’t see the sign,” right. Right?

Well…not so much. Having spent the past 3 months in this office, I can tell you that most people will try to sell you their own mother over the phone than admit to any wrongdoing on their part when it comes to driver responsibility. It would seem that they are all helpless victims of “the Man” who, they’re pretty certain, moves those fire hydrants around to make them closer to their car than when they parked there. Yeah, right.

Anyways, so after about 10 dozen of these calls, they get rather repetitive and boring, but every now and again, there’s one that surprises you. And the lady who just called me was one of these. Never doubt human ingenuity. Or self-importance.

So I had spoken to this woman earlier on in the week and, as luck would have it, I got her again on my phone about 15 minutes ago. She had called on Monday to protest the issuance of a ticket for parking too close to a stop sign. (Which she clearly was, since the measurement’s right there on the piece of paper.) She did not deny parking too close to the sign. Her issue (and the reason that she requested—nay, demanded—the ticket be cancelled) was that the Bylaw Officer had written the offence down as parked “to near a stop sign” rather than “too near a stop sign.” Yes. You read that correctly. The woman was arguing with me that, as the ticket was ungrammatical, it should not count.

Now, as anyone who knows me will attest, I am an English snob par excellence. I have a damned DEGREE in the subject. That said, I find this nitpicking a little excessive. Okay, scratch that, a LOT excessive. So, yes, perhaps the ticket is nonsensical, but putting “to” rather than “too” does not detract from the meaning of the sentence. Many people have problems with homonymous words and, regardless of spelling, with minimal effort the meaning of this offence is still comprehensible. Add to that the facts that:

a) The ticket’s not a legal document and the Bylaw officer can change the spelling later if he so chooses, so it’s really a moot argument, and;
b) Anyone working as a parking ticket distributor most likely does not have the equivalent English mastery that you so deftly displayed

And it’s pretty obvious that this lady is a snooty bitch who needs to find something better to do with her time.

After I spoke with her on Monday, I had a good laugh with my coworkers. That is until we received an email from the head of our department that the woman had emailed her and informed her that the City should take more care in training its employees in spelling. Gah!

Figuring this woman was just venting, I got on with my life. However, she again called this afternoon and wanted to know if the ticket was cancelled (no it was not you stupid cow, now feck off!) so I discussed it with my Appeals section, and we decided to placate her by taking her appeal…to which they will write a polite (and grammatically correct) response telling her, in no uncertain terms, that she is a foolish, time-wasting woman and that the ticket stands. Now give us your damned $40.00.

Bah. Humbug.

All I want for Christmas....

This season I've been more festive than usual, most likely due to the obscene amount of time I seem to have on my hands this year. So far I've filled my family's freezer with enough sugary goods to put an elephant into an insulin-induced coma and, in the process, managed to add a few pounds of shortbread and chocolate to my bum. *sigh*

Our family also dusted off the ol' Xmas video collection, which is one of my favorite parts of the season. Watching Chevy Chase fall off an over-illuminated rooftop never gets old!

As far as the actual day goes, however, I haven't really put much thought into it. I've bought my gifts, but I realize that I never actually made a wish list for myself (kitten). Most likely because I can't really think of anything (kitten) that I want (kitten). Maybe some clothes (kitten) or a movie or two (kitten). But none of that really interests me as much as the idea of a new pet. (kitten!!!)

Yes, I want a kitten. My kitty died over Thanksgiving, and all I really look forward to, truth be told, is a fluffy little buddy stuffed in my stocking (okay, maybe not stuffed, that sounds carrier, perhaps?) But I know i'm
not going to get that. no chance. family has flat-out refused my hinting, begging and outright demanding. *grumble*

So I hereby announce a petition to get Kelly a kitty for Christmas! Any comments or words of encouragement can be added to my comments section, which will then be forwarded to the rest of Miss Fitz's family for review. Come on, people! With your help, I know we can get me a cat for the holidays!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Current (and belated) B-Day Shout Outs!

Today my baby brother turned 22. Awww, they grow up so fast, don't they?

Other spiffy December babies (or Saggi-tits, as I like to call 'em):

Martin J. Mitchell - December 13

The Incredible Leah C. - December 3 (I didn't forget...I just, well....forgot.)

Baby Jebus - December 25


Monkeys Rule!

Went with Mister M. to see the Big Ape last night, and lemme just say that "King Kong" was AMAZING! I seriously recommend it to anyone with a hard-on for action, romance or big, hairy, silver-backed hunks o' luv. The digital primatamation makes LOTR's Gollum look like something drawn on a cocktail napkin. And, yes, I did get a little teary when he fell off the Empire State Building. *Sniffle*

ps- if not for any of the aforementioned reasons, at least go see "King Kong" for the fight scene between Kong and some nasty dinos. T-Rex = awesome.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Merry, scary Xmas!

I'm excited! Sam (World's ugliest dog is excited, too! Are you excited?

Friday, December 09, 2005

Ho Hum

Well, it's Friday and work is deathly bo-HO-ring, so it's time to put my first little snippet on the know, shake things up a little! one day i may even send this to my friends to read....pssshhaw.

ahem: Welcome to Kelly's Miraculous Melange of Miscellania! There isn't really anything here yet....but stick around! try the links! they're funzies! promise!